This isn't like college! TMI warning....

Warning the squeamish SHOULD NOT read this as it details the joys of pregnancy vomiting...


Now I did my fair share of vomiting during college... not as much as most of the people I know.. but I occasionally paid homage to the porcelain god (or wooden picnic bench) anyway.. throwing up in college was something a 22 year old was built for.. you drink too much peppermint schnapps and chocolate sauce.. you dance too much you vomit you fall asleep you wake up relatively fine (so long as everyone is very quiet and you have a nice big pair of sunglasses) So despite it being years since I last threw up from over indulging, vomiting was nothing I feared.. HAHAHA! (I am actually not laughing because its really not funny..yet) Pregnancy vomiting is a whole different beast- this sometime I hope every non preggo reads carefully.

PREGNANCY VOMITING IS A WHOLE DIFFERENT BEAST.

First of all, its not from drinking (DUH)- its from waking up, or standing up, or sitting down too fast or bending over or eating or smelling.. basically nothing fun. Vomiting without the fun of the previous over indulgence just seems sort of unfair like being punished for a crime you didn't commit. (As my husband would naughtily mention it was for something fun I did, but I currently despise him)

Second it is a whole body experience. I once went to a kickboxing class (it kicked my ass, I fell a couple times, was sore for days after and never went back) pregnancy vomiting uses more muscles than that kickboxing class and I didnt cry after kickboxing (well just a little but thats besides the point) I wish I had the literary finesse to adequately describe the violent earth shattering experience that seems to resonate from the bottom of your toes and move up through your body shaking every muscle in his path until it erupts from your mouth leaving you a shivering pile of ruined flesh.

Three, you piss yourself like a drunk on the subway. I was not prepared for as the vomiting is occuring to lose all control of my bladder and piddle myself.

Four, you know that relief you feel when you do upchuck from indulging in too much? yea, where is that? I feel just as rotten and sick to my stomach after vomiting that I did before. Now that is just unfair

Five, you DO get more warning. Ok this is a point for preggo vomiting. You know its going to happen (mostly because it happens every freaking minute) so you are able to get to bathroom on time. I remember no such warning in college.




I wish I could bottle this feeling and sell it to every teenager- I swear the number of teen preg would plumment if they knew they would pee themselves.